Do Kids Need Hearing Aids?

I'm a psychologist.
I work with kids.

I've noticed that lots of kids these days seem to have hearing problems.

Or I suppose a more exact term would be listening problems.
They hear noises fine, what they aren't getting is the meaning. Especially the meaning of the noises coming out of our mouths. Blah, blah, blah.

Sort of like what happens when you call your dog and they completely ignore you.
It makes you crazy sometimes doesn't it? You just want to pinch them to get their attention.
And maybe sometimes you do.

But If kids don't listen to what adults say, how will they learn? Aren't they supposed to be hanging on our every experienced word.
Can't we save them a lot of trouble if they just do what we say.
We've already been through it, they should learn from our examples.

Yada, yada, yada.
Of course, this is the conversation we have in our heads. We want to be the learned ones, the teachers, the exalted Dalai Lama.

Yeah.

So what's wrong with this approach? Only one thing. It doesn't work, that's all. Why doesn't it work, we listened to our parents! Really? I don't know what planet you grew up on, but I didn't listen to my parents.
I didn't want to be like my parents, I wanted to be like me.
An individual, unique and different.
So why listen to their experience of life, I wanted to make my own.

Exactly That's what I see with kids today.

They want to make their own experiences.

One of the teens I work with said it just the other day, "I want to have my own stories to tell, like you do.
" And there you have it. That's why kids don't listen. They don't think it will help them create their own life, their unique and different life. So what can we do? We still have to teach and guide them don't we? We certainly don't want our kids to end up like "Lord of the Flies". It's no secret that kids just left on their own generally end up as juvenile delinquents, we all know that. They still need guidance and education.

How can we do what we need to do without being obvious about it. How do we avoid the blank stare and glazed eyes? Well, my suggestion is sort of an upside down one.

If we want them to listen to us the best way to achieve that is to listen to them, Listen to what they have to say.
Listen without interrupting them.
Listen for the underlying meaning. Talk less, listen more. (A great book to read is "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk" by Faber and Mazlish.

They also have one for teens.
) My favorite comments when working with kids are: Really? You think so? How did you come to that conclusion? Amazing, I never thought of it that way! You are really very perceptive for your age. Hold on I need to write that idea down! Can you expand on that idea for me? How do you actually implement that into your life? Do you think there are other ways you could approach that? What have you tried up till now? And on and on.
Respect for their ideas is what builds my relationship with them.

And once I create that relationship, I can begin slipping my ideas in between the cracks.

But not before.

If I start expounding too soon, all is lost.

Relationship building takes time.

Is it ever too late to change? Change comes first from you.
So in that respect, my answer is No, it's never too late to make change happen.

The only real way to change anyone is to change yourself.

So that's where you start. I think of life as one experiment after another. Try it, see how it works.
Modify what you do to get the results you want. Develop your own technique based on what you have to work with. And don't waste time comparing yourself or your children to others.
Set your goals and keep your focus.
Your progress is yours, it has nothing to do with anyone else. Get help if you need it.
Don't wait.
Life's short, and the time you have with your kids is even shorter. Invest in your relationship with your kids now.

There's a guaranteed pay back on this one.
It doesn't matter what the economy is doing.
This one's guaranteed for life.